Why more couples are divorcing in their 50s and 60s, and how to navigate it with care

I recently contributed to an article in The Telegraph exploring why so many couples in their 50s, 60s and beyond are choosing to separate or divorce. It’s something I see often in my coaching practice — not as a sudden crisis, but as a moment of deep reassessment, clarity, and in many cases, the desire to live more honestly and intentionally.

Below are the key insights I shared, along with a link to the full article.

1. Why more couples are divorcing later in life

At this age, many people begin to re-evaluate who they are and what they want from life. After years of raising children or building careers, they finally have space to reflect — and sometimes realise the relationship no longer feels aligned. What might have been manageable before can begin to feel stifling once the distractions fade.

Long-standing resentments or patterns of disconnection may have quietly built up over time and now feel too big to ignore. There’s also a growing sense of empowerment and self-awareness in midlife, particularly for women, and a recognition that it’s not too late to seek deeper fulfilment or start again.

Separation has also become more normalised; people no longer see divorce as a personal failure. Seeing others re-emerge happier can make it look easy, but it often comes with a new set of challenges — ones that can absolutely be worked through with the right support.

Importantly, a later-life crisis doesn’t always mean the relationship must end. Sometimes what’s needed is a shift — learning to communicate differently, working through old resentments, and reconnecting in a way that reflects who they are now, not who they were 20 years ago.

2. How couples can separate more amicably

Amicable doesn’t mean painless — it means intentional.

I often ask couples going through separation to consider:
• “How do we want this to go?”
• “What’s most important here?”

These questions set the tone and create a shared purpose. Anchoring conversations in values such as respect, fairness, and family wellbeing allows couples to separate with dignity.

I encourage clients to create a reframe that acknowledges the good that once existed, recognises what’s true now, and clarifies what they want to carry forward. That perspective can soften blame and open space for a more compassionate ending.

From there, practical conversations need dedicated structure — a calm process that keeps things fair and helps both people feel grounded as they move through each stage.

3. What to focus on during divorce — for your wellbeing and your family

It’s normal to feel sadness, anger, grief or fear during divorce — but reacting from those places can deepen hurt and make the practical steps much harder.

Taking time to process emotions, seek support, and stay grounded helps you respond rather than react.

I often invite people to pause and name what they’re feeling, acknowledge it as valid, and ask:
“What would help me right now?”

This moment of emotional regulation — not suppression — can be transformative. It creates space to choose the next step wisely.

Self-care isn’t indulgent. It’s essential. Whether through journaling, walking, rest, or small grounding rituals, each act of care reinforces your ability to handle change.

If children are involved, calm honesty is key. Reassure them that the separation isn’t their fault, acknowledge that it will have an impact, and model emotional steadiness where you can. The kinder you are with yourself, the safer your children will feel too.

Finally, I encourage people to create a statement or guiding intention they can return to in difficult moments. Something like:

“We had our share of challenges and good times, and now it’s about moving forward with gratitude for what was and hope for what’s next.”

Read the full Telegraph article

You can read the full feature here:
https://www.telegraph.co.uk/family/relationships/grey-divorce/?icid=return_to_article

If you're navigating separation or considering divorce, I support individuals and couples through clarity, communication, emotional processing, and the practical and relational transitions that come with separation or rebuilding.